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You are listening to called The Homeschool episode #299 Your homeschool mindset matters.
Hello friends, welcome back.
Thank you for enduring last week with my sickness.
That was a rough week.
So feeling much better this week.
0:18
My family is too.
It's been so much nicer so hopefully I can keep us all healthy for the rest of the winter.
Exciting stuff over here.
My daughter comes home in a month and I am so excited.
0:35
I have called this phrase now nervously nesting.
I didn't realize this, but you know when you're about to have a new baby and you start nesting and getting everything ready?
Well, apparently some people, myself included, do it for when they're big kids.
0:51
Come back home when they've been gone for a long time.
We are wiping walls, washing bedding, cleaning random spaces because they have so much nervous energy.
It's great.
It's funny, it was actually even worse when my last kid came home and I think because he was planning on living here and she's going to move in and out but with his was painting walls, multiple walls, getting new bedding.
1:14
Went to IKEA one day and bought a whole closet system and installed that for him.
So my daughter, I put a little less pressure on myself 'cause she'll only live here for a few months before she moves in and out.
We call her the stray cat because she'll just come home for a little bit and then she leaves again and we love every second we get with her.
1:32
So, so stinky.
Excited to get have her back home.
She is my Bella.
If you have followed me for a long time.
And she has been serving a mission for the last 18 months in Houston, TX and she's been speaking Spanish there and just absolutely loving it.
1:48
And then she is.
Just a quick recap if you're not quite sure.
My Bella got her associates at 16 and she really wanted to travel, but she was a minor.
And so at 17, she became a nanny for a homeschool family in Puerto Rico and she worked for them for about 3 semesters.
2:05
And then after she was 18, she went and taught English and Thailand, and she came home for a hot minute and we got her for just a little bit.
And then she left on her mission and we'll get her home for just a little bit longer and she might have some plans.
She may go back to Puerto Rico for just a few months and go work there for a little while.
2:20
And then she's headed to India to teach English.
So it is so fun to see all the wild and crazy amazing things that this girl is always doing.
So always a bright light, always so fun.
Excited to have some more female energy in the home.
Man, I've missed it.
We US girls are already outnumbered so much.
2:38
So it's just the two of us.
I feel like we just need to have a lot of really big female energy for a while.
And I'm excited to have her back.
So anyways, that's what's really exciting at my home right now.
Let's see.
So let's talk about today of this phrase that has been on my mind a lot.
2:58
And the phrase is, this is so hard.
Homeschooling is so hard.
Parenting is so stinking hard, making meals every day for everybody is so hard.
Keeping the house clean or at least kind of respectable is so hard, and so on.
3:19
Now, the coach part of me would like to point out that all of these are just thoughts, and all thoughts are optional.
I don't believe homeschooling is hard and my homeschool isn't hard.
I don't believe the parenting is hard insert anymore.
I used to think it was hard.
I don't think your parenting is hard anymore and I could go on.
3:36
But I started running with my sister again and I've been talking about this because I love running so much.
I am not good at it.
I just really love it.
And she got me to sign up for a marathon, which is fair because I got her to sign up for two half marathons recently that we just did this last few months.
3:52
So we are training for a marathon and I have said and I thought and I have believed that this is hard.
Running these long miles is so hard.
Getting up early in the morning to go out into the freezing cold and sometimes in the snow and ice to run is so hard.
4:13
Figuring out nutrition is so hard.
Figuring out the type of clothing and shoes, all the things are so hard.
I then give my sister, my husband, or anyone else that I'm talking to all the reasons why it is so much harder for me.
4:31
Oh, of course, this is so hard for me.
I have seven kids.
Oh, no wonder I'm so slow out there.
I'm 44 years old now.
That's why running is so hard for me.
I have extra weight on me right now, so obviously running is harder.
4:50
I have such great reasons that are really just excuses of why running is hard and I have really held on and believed that all of these are true.
And one day as we are running, I am complaining.
5:06
Friends, bless her heart, especially when we run in the snow and ice.
And one day I was even just like I can't take this snow anymore.
But I was complaining.
And my sister says something along the lines of you really need to work on your mindset with running.
And I finished my run and I've been thinking about that phrase for a while.
5:27
What is my mindset with running?
I've already told you some and and I have a lot more negative ones about myself all while I run.
I've told myself over and over again this negative thoughts, these negative beliefs and I have believed them as truth.
5:43
Do you do this?
Have you told yourself over and over again the homeschooling is just so hard?
And then you have all your reasons, which are your excuses why just so much harder for you?
Maybe your husband doesn't love homeschooling.
Maybe you have a kid with special needs.
5:59
Maybe you aren't an organized person.
I hear that one a lot.
Like I'm just really, what's the opposite of organized?
What is that spontaneous?
I'm just really spontaneous and so that's why it's just so hard for me, right?
6:15
I've I've heard all the reasons, all the excuses of why it is so hard.
And then you have all your list and reasons why to prove it to me.
See Meg, This is why it's so much harder for me.
Home skilling feels easy to me now because I have an awesome mindset with homeschooling.
6:36
I know and believe I can figure anything out and I have over and over again.
I can make homeschool fun.
I can turn on music, we can start dancing, and we can make our our writing really silly or whatnot.
6:51
I know I can always make it fun.
Homeschooling is easy now.
I didn't always have this mindset with homeschooling.
It has evolved over time as I have worked on this.
And in the beginning I did think it was hard.
And in the beginning I did think like, what am I going to do?
7:06
Or I'd get really good into a groove and then my oldest would be junior high age and, and and then I doubt myself again and have a negative mindset again.
And then I'd figure it out and then he'd hit high school age and I doubt myself again.
And then people started getting older.
Like what are we going to do about graduation?
Are we just homeschooling all the way through?
7:23
And after I kept practicing and practicing this mindset, now I have this other mindset where I truly believe homeschool is easy.
And when I think things like this, that homeschool is fun, homeschool is easy, I feel incredibly confident.
7:39
I feel so confident.
I feel confident I could help anybody homeschool, right?
And I do, and it's amazing.
And I keep going despite when new obstacles pop up.
One of the changes this year was the number of kids I'm homeschooling and the number of kids I have home.
And I've talked about this of just, that was very different.
7:57
And do I keep going?
Yep, 'cause I can figure out how to homeschool One kid the other day he said it was just him and me in one morning.
And he's like, so this is my life, huh?
This is what it's going to be.
And I was like, yeah.
And it's going to be awesome.
We're going to have the best time.
And it was so fun to even watch his face, Like, all right, I like where this is going, but I'm totally going to kill homeschooling and have it be amazing with one kid.
8:20
It's going to be awesome because I keep going and I have these thoughts and I feel so confident about my homeschooling.
I keep going.
I show up every day to teach my kids if I fund or new things to keep my kids engaged.
I go at their pace so I'm not worrying about what other people think of me or my kids with their schooling and it is awesome.
8:40
Now that is a pretty big jump to go from homeschooling as hard to homeschooling as fun or homeschooling is easy, magical, amazing, or anything else.
You have to start small.
You cannot try to convince yourself like I'm just going to change my thought like homeschooling is amazing.
8:56
Homeschooling is amazing when you have truly, truly believed and you have your long laundry list of why it is so hard.
You have to start small and this is what I've been working on in my running now friends.
All of these things are going to be in different areas of your life where you may have something that it is just you have a great mindset with it.
9:14
Like it's so easy to keep the house clean.
It's really not that hard or it's so easy to be a good friend.
It's so easy to whatever it is for you, you just have a really good mindset with that thing.
You've come to believe it and you make it true by those the words that you are saying.
9:31
So as I was thinking about this, that you can't just go from your negative thoughts about yourself to really believing in yourself the next day.
Like I'm the slowest runner ever to I'm the fastest runner ever or something like that.
I can take a baby step away from this is so hard.
9:49
One phrase that you can even add to this is that that is hard is and that's OK.
So, and I even like to add the word in the front sometimes because not every day is homeschool hard, but sometimes homeschool feels hard.
And that's OK, right?
10:05
Giving you permission to like, it's OK that it's hard for me right now when I'm going up a hill and I'm running up a hill, like my heart might explode or my sister wants to Sprint at the end, I'm like, Oh my gosh, here we go again, right?
It's OK that it's hard.
It's OK.
10:21
I'm just getting back into it.
It's OK that it's hard.
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing with my home school.
That's OK because I don't have to know everything I'm doing.
Sometimes I still don't know what I'm doing in my home school, but I have enough confidence that, like, I know I'll figure it out.
Let's see.
10:38
Sometimes when you excuse me, when you repeat phrases like that, this is so hard, you may feel defeated, discouraged, unhappy, hopeless, even awful.
Then you probably want to give up when things are hard because you're telling yourself things are so hard.
10:55
And then you feel that defeated feeling and you just want to give up, right?
So a kid says this subject is stupid.
I don't like, I don't know what's going on.
You're a bad teacher, whatever it is.
And you're like, this is so stinking hard and you feel defeated.
You're not going to try.
You're going to go hide.
You go hide in your closet, eat chocolate and cry and tell your kids, I don't care what you do.
11:13
Just go watch TV or play on a screen right?
Then you're going to make that thought This is hard come true because you are not going to figure out what to do instead.
One of the thoughts I have been working on with when I feel physical discomfort.
11:31
So it's interesting because some of these are just an emotional discomfort, right?
Like trying to keep your cool when a kid is yelling or trying to keep your cool when your kids like, I don't understand math and nobody's ever teaching me math, right?
That's an emotional discomfort.
And so it's been interesting when I feel a physical discomfort, even working on this mindset.
11:50
And mind you, I'm talking and not about an injury causing discomfort, but my feet are tired or I'm really cold.
And my old time, old mindset was, see, I'll never figure this out.
Oh, it's because my body is not the right body type to run.
This is just miserable.
12:07
And my new mindset is I'm OK, it's not a big deal.
I'm just going to focus my form.
My favorite thought.
I am awesome.
Oh my gosh, I'm so awesome that I'm out here early in the morning when I don't have to be.
I'm so awesome that I'm in my mid 40s still running races and marathons.
12:25
Oh my gosh, I'm so awesome.
That's so cool.
Your mindset will play a humongous role in your homeschool and in your life.
It's so interesting.
I'm in a bunch of Facebook groups for homeschoolers and it's so fascinating because people will get on and they'll rant event, which is totally fine, right?
12:46
And I know sometimes people like you should go in and help coach them.
And somebody like that is not looking to be coached.
And you only do this hopefully once, but maybe a couple times coach someone who doesn't want to be coached because it doesn't end well.
But you start realizing when somebody has this really negative mindset, like, I just can't do it.
13:04
Everything is terrible, everyone is awful, and they continue to have that mindset.
They're not going to succeed, they're not going to win because they are just repeating repeatedly, telling themselves over and over again while they're inadequate, while they're not enough, all of these things.
13:20
And so that mindset piece is going to be so huge and starting to believe that you really can figure out the different obstacles and whether that is a child's behavior, whether that is the kids new age, figuring out lesson plans that work for your family, whatever the obstacle is that you can find a way past them because just because something challenges you never ever means that you should give up, right?
13:48
Can you imagine that somebody who goes to the gyms like, well, I was going to get strong, but the weights were heavy, so I quit, right?
Or anything, somebody who's going to climb a big mountain or do something and just like, well, I was going to climb Everest, but then I was really, I got really nervous and uncomfortable, right?
14:06
And I didn't think I could do it.
So I'm just going to give up, right?
Like no people, amazing people.
There's so many examples of history or current people out in the world who like or amazing and didn't give up when it got hard.
I think the one, the first one that came to my mind example, this is JK Rowling.
14:24
Harry Potter is such a humongous book series.
Whether or not you love him, hate him, has the movies.
It has what rides it.
I don't know what is it at Orlando Studios.
I don't know where the rides are, but they're Harry Potter worlds.
All of these big, huge, amazing things that JK Rowling had that has come from her books, and I think it's 12 people rejected her story.
14:45
Like, this is dumb.
These are really stupid.
Why would anybody publish this, right?
But she believed in it.
Like, this is a good story.
And Doctor Seuss was also rejected repeatedly for his stories of, like, this is weird.
And now who doesn't love Doctor Seuss with their little kids?
15:02
We were just reading one the other day and oh, the the Sneetches on the beaches and we have stars on ours and we were laughing so hard.
And I just think, oh, how interesting, though.
We love this book now.
But that required him to go through the discomfort of somebody saying, your story's trash.
15:18
You're never going to figure this out.
And him having the mindset of the I just means I need to keep going.
I don't need to give up because I got 1220 rejections.
And the last person that maybe you've think of this too is Thomas Edison.
And he said, like, what is it?
15:35
I didn't, I didn't fail.
I found 99 ways that didn't work, right.
And so with your mindset with this piece of, with homeschool and it's a really bad day and it's really chaotic.
It's like, I didn't fail with my homeschool.
I definitely found a way that didn't work.
15:50
I have found many ways that don't work.
I've talked about this before in the past when we did, we built a little City of London with just paper and we created it and I lit it all on fire to show him the London Fire.
And my kids don't even remember this now, thankfully, but they all bawled their little eyes out then.
16:07
And I was like, OK, so don't ever do that again.
Don't spend hours creating an art project just to light it on fire, to teach them how to fire that.
They went real poorly, right?
So it's it didn't you didn't fail, you just found a bunch of ways that didn't work.
16:24
And so my home school is built on a pile of failures.
This homeschool success that you see the amazing relationships I have with my kids is built on some really bad choices sometimes and me showing up in ways that I'm like, oh, we do not need to do that over again.
16:40
Right.
So if you think of Edison with this, with the light bulb and he's trying to figure it out and it blows up in his face, maybe literally of him saying, OK, now I know I need to change it just a little bit.
So if something's blowing up in your face in your home school, in your, in your home, use that just as information like, OK, don't try to make a sleepy toddler do their school because it usually ends poorly or whatever that looks like for you.
17:06
I could go on and on.
But these people believed in themselves and believe that they could always find a solution to their obstacles.
Obstacles will always exist.
And what are you going to do when those obstacles come?
Are you going to be defeated?
17:21
Well, I'll never figure this out.
This wasn't for me.
If it was, it would be easier.
But no, your obstacles are not the reason to give up.
They are the thing that will make you better, the thing that you make you stronger, wiser.
They will be your best teachers are those obstacles, so lean into them.
17:43
Be intentional with your mindset, even if it is.
This is so hard right now and that's OK.
And eventually you can lean into different ones, right?
Like I'm figuring this out.
I'm getting this to homeschool is amazing.
I am on fire because I'm such a good homeschool mom.
17:59
Like I was made for homeschooling.
Whatever those other thoughts you want to lead to, just ease into it, right?
It's all right.
It's kind of hard right now.
That's OK.
I don't need to give up, it's just an obstacle that I'm going to figure my way around over, through, under whatever I need to.
18:15
And as you do this and you are intentional with your mindset, you will create one of the most amazing home schools and the most amazing life.
Love you so much.
Friends talk to you next week.
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