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Well, you are listening to called the Home School episode number 297, All things Reading from how to teach a kid to read to Helping a reluctant reader.
Hello friends, welcome back.
I'm always excited to be here and share some of my thoughts and knowledge with you about all things homeschooling and parenting.
0:23
So as many of you know, I have my son who is serving a mission in El Salvador.
He was on the podcast last year and he started his mission back in October and now he is in the country of El Salvador.
He's been there for a little bit and he absolutely loves it, loves the people, love the language, and thank goodness he loves the food.
0:43
I was so worried about that.
One of the obstacles that he has faced though, in helping teach people about Jesus is that people can't read.
And it's so much harder to teach somebody or have them read something like give them literature or something to read the scriptures if they cannot even read.
1:02
So it was such an interesting conversation I had with him.
And he what he's going to be doing is teaching these people to read and doing some really neat stuff with that.
And so I wanted to do this whole episode about reading because I just dove in with him about this and talking about the importance of reading and what we can do to help inspire our kids.
1:25
So when people can't read, it has significant effects on both individuals as in the society as a whole.
So these are more about adults who cannot read, right?
I definitely am not talking about children.
Even a preteen doesn't need to be an amazing reader and really encourage them through the high school years to get better and better.
1:45
But as an adult, it can really affect their life if they cannot read.
So one of the things that it can affect is lower employment opportunities, right?
Illiteracy limits access to jobs requiring even basic reading skills, contributing to higher and, excuse me, higher unemployment or underemployment rates reduce productivity.
2:10
Workers unable to read and write struggle with tasks requiring written communication or read instructions.
Keeps the cycle of poverty going right by limiting upward mobility and economic independence.
A lack of literacy reduces access to accurate information, increasing vulnerability to misinformation, and making poor decisions.
2:32
This one I thought was really interesting too is a loss of culture heritage.
So limited literacy can reduce the ability to access and preserve cultural literature, traditions, and histories.
And if anybody else here is a history buff, do you have some societies that it was just told true stories, right?
2:49
Or you have to get through the pictures or something?
And we don't have as much information of their history.
But the people who could write and had an alphabet and have a language, they all had a language, but that they are written language.
We know so much more about these civilizations, right?
So how sad that we don't have some of these cultures histories just because they couldn't write and read and then reduce self esteem.
3:12
I mean if you're a full adult, any age, often leaving leads to feelings of shame, exclusion, which can negatively affect your mental health, right?
So being able to read has major positive effects on your life.
You can learn better, get better jobs, read, study, like all of these amazing things in your life.
3:32
So my son is really excited to start teaching these people down where he is how to read.
And it was really sweet and fun because he goes, I knew you would know how you would know the steps of teaching someone to read, but it's tricky because he's doing it in Spanish.
And I said, well, I can tell you how to do it in English.
3:48
So you're going to have to translate it.
But English is a much harder language to learn in, right?
Because I was asking my husband like, what about letter teams and all of these things and diphthongs?
And he was like, that doesn't really exist in Spanish, right?
You have some letters that break the rules or something that break the rules, but not like English does.
4:07
So he's like, actually, it'll probably be easier.
So which is awesome for them.
So he was asking me to give him out like a list of step by steps of how to teach people to read.
And so I thought, oh, how great to do a whole episode on reading of how to teach a child to read and what to do with reluctant readers, right.
4:27
So all of those things.
So first of all, when we're going and talking about children, I don't think you should force a young child to read before they are ready.
I researched Waldorf schools because I've always heard the Waldorf school start reading about 8 and what I found is they start about second grade, which is around 7 to 8 years old.
4:46
And I love that that they wait for the child to sit and try to learn to read.
There's so much stuff that they are learning that they're not always ready to read.
And we just keep pushing it at younger and younger ages that kids got to be bigger, faster, stronger and do all these things and it's coming get quite a cost.
5:06
So I am not a big fan of really pushing kids.
I love to expose them to learning things and if they really want to know more they will ask for it and really desire it.
But if they don't, I'm not willing to put up that fight.
So my cute 7 year old, he's almost 8, I did wait longer and we took things real, real slow, right where we were singing the alphabet for a long time and playing a lot of games.
5:32
And this year he's finally ready.
And it's so been so crazy because I did wait longer with him.
And so what's wild to me is how much faster he's grasped it just because he's older and more mature and more ready.
So it's super exciting that I've actually get to practice some of these things with my bonus guy.
5:51
So before a child is ready to read, what do you do with them then?
If a lot of preschools are pushing reading, kindergarten's pushing reading, right?
And if we're like, OK, we're going to wait for our kid because it's a made-up timeline of somebody who doesn't know your kid said I think a kid should know this by this age, we're going to just shuffle that because it doesn't matter.
6:11
So what do you do with the kid then if they're just not really showing any interest in reading?
So the first thing I would do is read to them.
Get lots of amazing picture books, great picture books, awesome funny books like Doctor Seuss Shel Silverstein, books with rhyming with funny words, nursery rhymes and other stories that children just love.
6:32
Read to them, read to them, read to them.
So that can even be like during your school time if they want to call it school, like come snuggle up with me or just like let's read.
And is it reading during a meal?
Is it reading at bedtime?
What does it look like that just get them excited that they love books and are reading to them and and just sharing those your love of reading to them.
6:54
And even there are even cute little books that if they're like, I don't want like an already told story.
There are picture books with no words that they could even make up their own story, right and get their little creative juices going.
So getting them just used to being read to and really loving them.
Then when you're like, OK, I think we're kind of ready for the next step.
7:12
Sing the AB CS, right?
It's funny, even my big kids can remember so many things because we put it to song or we found something that was a song.
All the States and their capitals, the presidents of the United States, all the bones in their bodies, your major organs and your systems and your body because it was put to song.
7:28
So we all know the AB CS, right?
Sing the AB CS and have fun with that.
Kids love singing and dancing and doing that.
It doesn't have to be in a formal lesson, can be life.
Walking around the house, sing the AB CS.
Driving in your car, sing the AB CS.
Going to a park, sing the AB CS.
7:47
So once they are really doing that and maybe they want to know a little bit more, or maybe you want to just try something out, you're going to start teaching them the letters.
So I've seen things where you can print off the alphabet, like in a little strip, you can handwrite it, you can make a page of it, but you're going to start pointing to the letters while you sing, right?
8:05
So ABCD and start pointing to the letters.
So they start recognizing that all of them have a name, right?
That they're not just weird carvings and markings, that they have no idea what they mean, but they all stand for something.
So getting them very familiar with all the names of the letters.
8:21
And like I said, there's no timeline.
So if you have a little kid who's like, I'm done today, like I know one letter, that's enough for me, Fantastic.
Be done.
Just go nice and slow.
So once they are can do their AB CS and they can identify the letters right, then it's really fun to play games where they can learn the lowercase letters and the uppercase letters.
8:42
Now I don't know why, but we've always called them babies and the Mamas the baby lit letters and the Mama letters.
And you can make a game of this of matching them.
I have a game that's a cupcake game where the babies are the base of the cupcake and the Mamas are the cupcake top, right?
8:57
So like, I mean, I like to get weird with this, this and have fun, but like if we have baby M and like, it'd be like like crying and like I need my mom.
I just can't find her right?
And we'd make it really fun and start with letters like oh, or they're this.
They look like the same, just bigger and smaller VW some of those letters X and then start teaching them the other ones.
9:17
But when it's a game, it's really fun and kids like to do it.
I looked on Amazon and there were so many cute games.
If you want to buy 1 so you can buy flash cards.
Mine was this cupcake game that I had found.
You can write your own if you're like I don't want to spend any money.
9:32
You can literally make cards of your own.
I found some that were little popsicles and the babies were the bottom part of like the white part of the popsicle and the Mamas were the little covers.
So like an orange tickle.
The babies were the vanilla part and the Mamas would be the orange part and it was really cute, these little ones.
9:49
Another one were little dinosaurs that you would connect of the letters.
So, so many fun things that you could do with games of really teaching them.
And you have to remember that study after study shows that learning through games not only helps children to learn faster, but to also retain it better.
10:06
So don't think that it just has to be sit here, shut up, don't talk.
We're going to do this thing and you're going to retain it to actually retain it better and understand it better if you play.
Like most people, especially children, are motivated by play.
So if it's like, hey, sit down, we're going to do flash cards, you may get some pushback.
10:25
But if it's like, hey, you want to play a game with mom, most little kids are going to be like, yes, I want to play a game with mom so that you can use stuff like that.
All right, so now they, they can see the ABC's, they recognize all the letters.
They know the Mamas and the babies.
10:40
So the uppercase and lowercase.
Now it's time to start teaching them the sounds of all the letters.
So I have these flash cards and I don't even think the place where I bought these exists anymore because this is for my oldest kid who is now 23.
And so, but I looked on Amazon, you can buy a ton of flash cards.
11:00
You can make your own because some of mine have been lost after all these years.
And I just literally get a three by five card and write it on there.
But I have those of you on YouTube.
You can see like these have been left.
Some of them have been cut and drawn on, but they Start learning the sounds of the letters.
11:16
So at a ah, right, next one, Bah, next one and Start learning all the sounds a letter makes.
Now, if you're really cutesy, you may want to do things like today or this week is all about A.
So we're going to do the first sound of A and we're going to go around the house, We're going to go on a hunt.
11:35
And maybe you have a picture of an alligator somewhere or maybe your stack is going to be an apple, right where it's like A says A and so that you can just play different things like that.
I have never done anything like that because that sounds time consuming to me.
And but if that's like, Oh my gosh, that's the cute stuff that I love.
11:52
Please do that.
If it speaks to you, then do it.
I just do flash cards and I just do a little bit at a time where like maybe we add one letter, maybe we do a couple letters.
I loved there was so with George when we were doing this.
I think I have a cute video of it that when we'd get to G, we'd do G and he's like best letter.
12:12
And then we get to M and for my name, right?
And he'd be like worst letter and he would laugh and laugh and laugh and it was so funny to him.
And so he, he got a big kick out of that.
So really just teaching them that all the letters have sounds.
12:28
Now I do teach the vowels like at a Ah and E is AE.
But I just when I start teaching them to read, we just use that first sound so that it's not confusing.
So they know all the sounds of the letter.
What next?
Now we're going to learn how to blend them.
12:43
So a fun, easy way to do this is literally you can write this on a whiteboard if you can do on a piece of paper, or you can buy something that does this, but starting with a simple word like Sam.
So you have an S like way far out, an A in the middle and an M far out so that they can say the the sound.
13:01
So, ah, and then you put them a little bit closer together, a little closer together, right?
And so they get them closer, closer, closer, so they can read it Sam right, And then realize that they can start doing it.
So you could do that for a little bit.
13:17
Add in some really simple words that they can start seeing that letters can blend together to make words go as slow as needed with this.
Can I say that as enough times about this with reading, just go as slow as needed.
13:32
If you are looking for a game with this one, The Good and the Beautiful has a free language arts app and you go into the language arts section and you can go to a kids grade and go down to games.
And I use this just for my last guy because it wasn't existing yet for my other kids.
13:49
And it was fun and he really liked it because it had some really easy ways for him to see visually the the letters blending and then hearing it with somebody else.
And so he really liked that.
You don't have to use an app, but if you want to it's totally available and it's free.
14:05
So just a side note with this as I am like teaching them how to start to read and put stuff together.
I love to incorporate scriptures in with my child's reading.
And I have found that every time I do this my kids reading takes off.
14:21
So once they have kind of the basics of blending some sounds together, I love to add the scriptures.
One thing I did forget to talk about with this is I the books I use, I believe they're on Amazon.
My oldest kids did preschool and I love these book frontline reading phonics, I believe is what they're called.
14:41
And I love the way that their little books are set up of like Sam Pam hat bag and like ones with just a bunch of the letter A and then what one's the bunch of letter ES.
And I just love the way that they naturally build upon it.
It's what I've used.
So I haven't used a lot of different ones to compare.
14:58
So if you have something you love, I'm so sure there are a ton more options now, but that is what I do.
But as they are doing this and so they can start reading some of these really simple books, like Al is a cat, so some really simple sentences.
Then I start bringing in the scriptures and finding words that are that maybe they could read as something like that.
15:18
I that they can start picking out words in a scripture and as they get better, eventually a full verse and then go on from there.
So now we have the basics right of singing the alphabet, recognizing the letters uppercase, lowercase, the sounds put a blending.
15:36
Now what?
Well, this is when English is fun is because our language it is interesting.
So I have those of you on YouTube can see I have a lot of the flash cards we use of all the teams.
And it's interesting because we have this one EIGH, which is a four letter A.
15:57
And so it's so funny, like we actually did this the other day, George and I, he was he was just looked at this one and I go, what do you think this says?
He goes, Oh my goodness, I have no idea.
But we I said 4A4 letter A and then I said like, how old are you going to be 8?
16:13
And he goes, OK, go, this is how you spell it 8.
And he was like, what was blowing his mind, right?
But we have just slowly, slowly added in more and more of these.
And so I have used Happy Phonics for all seven of my babies.
16:29
I love it because it is so game based.
Somebody years ago told me to laminate it all and thank goodness I did.
So I cut them all out, laminated them them all, cut them all out.
And so they have lasted through seven kids.
And I love it because it kind of lets you know, like here are the first ones to go, the SH team, the TH team, the WH team, right?
16:53
And then the oh, did I skip on maybe the chapter team?
But like then there'd be a game of finding words that have those teams in them.
English is interesting.
Like OUGH can say 6 different sounds, right?
17:10
So really taking your time to go slow play with these.
Like I said, my 7 year old, he's almost 8, We are still in the middle of just learning a lot of these and just watching his reading get better and better.
And he's still improving and just learning a lot of these sounds.
17:27
Like I said, here's one of the ones that my kids lost Silent final B that we get that one and we always laugh because he has to just not say anything.
I'm like, aren't you going to tell me what this says?
He's like, right.
So, so then adding in that, so I've used this with all of my kids.
17:47
This is how I've told all seven of them how to read.
When my oldest, who is now 23, he went to kindergarten at a private school and he started the year kind of knowing the basics of how to read.
And when he left, he couldn't read at all.
18:04
And the teacher was really overwhelmed.
And he is an easy kid and easy kids sometimes just get forgotten.
And I pulled it out in first grade and we started with this happy phonics of all of this basic stuff of just singing, pointing to the letters, playing all the games.
18:20
And it was so interesting because reading was just a positive experience instead of like, Oh my gosh, you're old and I have 5 little babies and I need you to be reading.
Instead of it being this negative experience, it was this really positive experience.
And it's so crazy to me because he is the kid that loves reading the absolute most.
18:37
And we went super slow didn't go and like do it till he was ready.
So first grade he really wasn't reading and by 4th grade for reals, he read and understood the Odyssey and he has been writing his own books.
18:53
He's trying to self publish right now.
He just loves reading.
We're doing a book club.
He and I and I always read my books have been historical fictions or a lighter, easy fun read.
And he gives me these intense, really, I mean educated, much more educated books.
19:12
And it's just, it kills me because he'll, he'll get his reading done in a week or something because we've been rotating who gets to pick.
And when he gives me a book, I go, oh, OK, mine's going to take me a little bit longer, but I'm going to, I'm going to finish it.
So it's just, it's so awesome to see.
19:27
And so obviously he probably loves reading the most out of all of my kids, but they all can read and they all can read, read well.
And this is the way that I've done it for all seven of my kids.
It is interesting.
So I said like, my oldest was my latest reader, but my 13 year old, he happened to be incredibly competitive.
19:48
And he was born with five older siblings who all, by the time he was reading, like learning to read, they all could read because there's a little bit of a space there.
And so he was reading pretty well by 4.
But it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter if your kid is in first, second, third grade and they're not great readers.
20:05
It also doesn't matter if your kid is 3 and they're a great reader.
Just get off the timeline right?
I found this interesting checklist of first grade readiness checklist skills from 1979.
And some of the skills were can tell left hand from right hand, can ride A2 wheeled bike, can count 8 to 10 pennies.
20:23
So just allowing education to be more hands on stuff.
There was even stuff on there like being able to walk to the store and back by yourself.
Now to the 2019 checklist has things like children can identify and write numbers to 100.
Children can read all kindergarten level sight words.
20:38
Children can form, excuse me, complete sentences on paper using phonetic spelling.
Like it's just become so intense.
And so now we have all these people deciding to home school who are so worried.
I'm supposed to be at this level.
I'm supposed to be my kids should be smarter, should be further along.
But we're going back old school and we are letting our kids learn at their own rate and their own pace and maybe doing a lot more hands on things and outdoor things and allowing them to play and explore more.
21:06
So please forget all the made-up standardized.
This is where a kid should be.
Let that just go and allow your kid to be at their their level.
So now I want to talk about those of you who have readers, but they are reluctant readers and maybe it's a fight.
21:23
Maybe there's a lot of pushback and what to do there.
So one of the things I've seen, especially a lot with coaching is that a lot of kids will quit reading because it's become a negative thing.
So I've helped countless parents.
This has been something that's come up quite a bit over the years of coaching, countless parents who are frustrated that their kid isn't reading.
21:43
So I will say, tell me what is the last time you tried to read with your kid?
What did it look like?
Well, we sat down, we opened this book and they just won't do it.
So now I'm I'm yelling at them and they are crying.
I threatened to take something away.
The kid is shut down, storms off out of the room.
21:59
So when I talk about parents needing to relax, stop your own negative behavior and quit making reading an issue.
I have seen kid after kid after kid all of a sudden take off because it's no longer a negative thing.
It's no longer something I get punished for if I don't do it.
22:17
I get to just do it because reading is fun and because I love it, right?
And so being really careful to not yell at your kid, spank them, threaten them, insult them, like you should be reading faster.
Oh my gosh, are we really stuttering over words, making fun of them, critical, all those things are going to shut them down.
22:35
And why would they read if every night, excuse me, if every night I made dinner, my husband said made fun of like how I cooked and did everything, I wouldn't cook anymore.
Like, well, I'm done.
I'm not doing this if this is what I get right.
So if you are negative, it's going to be negative and they're not going to want to do it, right?
22:53
So really watch yourself and how you are responding to them.
OK?
Another reason why you might have a reluctant reader is too much screen time.
I mean, this just becoming more and more prevalent of just little kids having phones.
23:12
And I mean, I've seen this over and over again, like don't give your kid a smartphone until you're ready for their childhood to end.
And I'm seeing younger and younger kids getting smartphones.
And I know some little 7 year olds and six year olds that have smartphones and they're just sitting on YouTube just watching videos, just doing nothing but sitting there.
23:29
So if you have the option as a kid to sit down and just watch videos or play video games, watch ATV show or read, you are more than likely going to pick the screen.
It's easier, screens are easier and her brain loves easier.
So allow kids to get bored, have good books available and see what happens.
23:49
I even love we have in our big room.
I just went and got 2 shelves and just flipped them upside down so it has a lip on them and I just set out different books.
And it's just been interesting because I rotate it through every month and how often my kids will just read because they're just sitting there and so just offering it to them.
24:07
But don't allow screens to be one of the options if you want to help encourage reading.
I'm not saying never have a screen, just FYI.
But if your kid isn't reading, they're probably getting on the screen more often than not.
OK, Another way to help a reluctant reader is to be the example.
24:26
Do you enjoy reading yourself?
What do you do at nights?
Do you watch something or do you read something?
What do you do if you have to go to an appointment or office, a doctor's appointment or something to bring a book or do you play on your phone?
Now, once again, I'm not judging you either way.
Sometimes I bring a book, sometimes I just look at Instagram.
24:45
But your example and love for reading will spark a lot more excitement to a child of like, oh, that's what we do.
That's what our family does is that we read and sometimes we read and sometimes we do get on the screen or whatever that looks like for your family.
And at night times we read and we do this like we are a family that reads.
25:00
So your example is really big.
It's really fun to to talk in like I love when we do family meeting and we're talking and like somebody talks about a book that they love.
So maybe we are talking about mental and like, oh, I just read this amazing book.
So we're talking about that as a family, bringing those things up.
25:17
And so then it helps kids to want to be involved and also want to read.
Now, the very last one with this with Reluctant really reader is if there is a legitimate vision issue or a learning disorder.
And this is a possibility.
25:34
I was talking to my girlfriend's daughter who is 16.
And I know her mom loves to read.
And so I was asking her like, what are some of your favorite things to read and do?
And she said, oh, I can't read.
And I thought she was teasing me.
And she was, Oh no, I'm so dyslexic.
It's really, really hard for me.
25:49
So I don't really read and all I can think about is how proud I am of this mom who is so patient, who didn't make it a big issue, who didn't get mad at her, insult her or whatever.
The girl wasn't embarrassed by it, didn't shut down, she just listens to things.
Or if she does have to read something, she just know it's just going to be harder for me and it takes a lot longer.
26:08
So I just, she was extremely dyslexic and so I love that her mom was working with her instead of shaming her or being really frustrated and yelling at her just because her brain works a different way.
Also, sometimes a kid needs glasses or I've even seen some kids just need some eye exercises where one eye isn't following quite all the way or different things, right that you can just do to train your eyes to do things.
26:33
So I just want you to not get too quick to jump on the diagnosis bandwagon because things are real.
Dyslexia is real vision, like needing glasses or having some eye issues are real.
I just don't want it to be your first go to, right Kind of see some of these other things, but also to pray about it because you're always going to find somebody who will diagnose a kid.
26:55
And so to be intentional about that and pray about it and allow God to kind of answer you.
Sometimes people be like, I was really worried about my kid and then I talked to somebody who was like, Oh, my kid did the same thing.
We did these exercises and within a few months my kid could read again, right?
27:11
So pray about it, be open to that.
And then as you talk and and look things up and write to, you'll most likely find an answer or find the right direction to take your kids.
And I do love, I have a friend with, she's dyslexic and all of her kids are dyslexic and what a gift that is.
27:29
And just when she talks about it, you're almost like, man, I wish I was dyslexic because she talks about how their brains work in such a different way.
And that that's beautiful too.
So they're not illiterate, but reading is much more challenging for them, but it allows their brain to succeed in different ways.
27:45
So that could be a reason for a reluctant reader as well.
Friends, I hope that this episode has been helpful to you, whether you have new kids who are learning to read or you have reluctant readers or just needed a little brush up to know that it's OK to let your kid wait till they're ready to read.
28:03
If you have found this helpful, I would love for you to head over to Apple Podcast or Spotify and go give me an awesome five star review.
Tell tell me why you love the podcast.
It would really help other people to find my message.
Love you so much and I'll talk to you next week.
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